I have witnessed, both within my own family, in the outside world and in my practice, what can happen in a relationship if there is no common bond that can actually bind a couple together.
Well, let me digress (or maybe, progress) and say a bit about getting together as a couple in the first place: even if there is a strong attraction, be it physical, mental or emotional: Love; That does not seem to be enough to keep a couple together; the body will wither, the mind will change and the emotions will flutter. And love may turn into a dependency or habit. Unless, there is a third entity; the glue that binds the one to the other; the bond that binds, a mutual goal and lifetime commitment to it. The “it” needs to be greater that both of you, a driving force that can take both of you, like a boat down the river, or an ark during a flood (and floods there will be) …
In my opinion, there are two good bonds; children and Religion or a Spiritual Practice (to be more politically correct, or any other proven external disciplinary way of life that both parties agreed to commit to whole-heartedly, abide by, follow and emulate; the goal). With both of these present, the chances are multiplies exponentially. But, even with both of these, there are no garantees.
Without these, there is no common bond; it’s just two people living separate lives together: convenient for a nice meal, some ambience, safe sex, and the occasional meaningful conversation …
So, both parties must have the same intent or lifetime goal. Otherwise, both sides will be resentful, because, in any situation, for any important decision, no compromise can satisfy both of the parties, because their primary motivating goals are different; or they have no primary motivating goals and “just don’t feel like it” at the time. And so there is no improvement in the situation and resentments, anger, etc. build; and there is no possibility for a long-term relationship.
Love may sometimes seem to be obscured by a tendency towards negativity, insecurity and fear/anxiety. But this is who the person is at the moment; and they are perfect the way they are.
Love may sometimes seem to be obscured by a tendency towards not wanting to be so depended upon by the other, for their happiness, security and emotional wellbeing. But this is who that person is at the moment; and perfect the way they are.
Much of this may stem from residual family entanglements. “Inherited” family control issues may the the cause of some behaviors. Some behaviors may come from family insecurity issues.
There are a few key issues that need to be kept in mind: Trust! Honesty! One must trust the other, as the right hand trusts the left. And one must be honest and trustworthy, inside the relationship and in the world at large as well; trusting yourself, being honest with yourself and trusting your partner and being honest with your partner, and being trustworthy and honest in all your dealings in the world. In other words, your thoughts, speech and actions should always be in line with a clear conscience.
There are times when you will feel rejected or abandoned, based on your perception of the situation. There is usually no reason to feel this way; from the other’s standpoint, it’s not about you, it may be about their family control issues.
At times you may feel that you would appear weak if you give in to the desires of the other. There is no reason to feel weak by giving in: remember the bond that binds; you can show your compassion and accommodation of what may be the other’s family insecurity issues.
Besides the above mentioned, or perhaps, because of the above mentioned, there may be a lack of real compassion and empathy on the part of both parties for each other. To see the world from the other persons heart and to trust the other person, that they are doing the best they can. To see them as perfect, the way they are. (Don’t get me wrong: there is always room for improvement.) To realize the person is always more important than any ideology or material object or goal; the relationship comes first.
Perhaps ask; what’s the worst thing that can happen if the worst thing happens. Usually the answer is not such a big deal. Again, the third entity, the bond that binds, the trust in that everything that happens is only good.
There is a need for genuine compassion and complete acceptance of the other as perfect as they are; acknowledgement and acceptance of each others needs and idiosyncrasies and the commitment and willingness to live with them as they are, for as long as they are that way. And how can we come to such a point. History has shown, as do presetn day successful marriages, that there is a bond that binds one love ot the other. This “glue” comes in the form of a “third party”.
The other person; their feelings, hopes, dreams, goals must be your own as well: you are one; heads and tails of the same coin. One spirit, one soul, split off into two bodies.
It says, “All beginnings are difficult”. And while this may be so, heading in the right direction, with the right foot, for the right reasons, towards the right goal, will ensure that the trip will be worthwhile and pleasant for you and for all of those who love you …
Abraham Bruck is the developer of the Universal Healing Technique and the UHT Lifetime Trauma Resolution Protocol.
Audio Erotica and Mature Erotica-Heightening Sexual Pleasure
There’s a whole new dimension in eroticism that significantly gains popularity nowadays, both in the real and virtual markets. From what used to be dominated by pornographic movies and magazines depicting photos of men and women in various forms of sexual poses, eroticism is starting to take an alternative course, which experts scientifically refer to as mature erotica.
This aspect explores different forms of foreplay other than through physical contact or plain visualization of sexual images. Mature erotica comes in the form of erotic novels, erotic stage plays, short stories, poems, audio erotica, and many other forms of literary publications.
Mature erotica presents the sexual act in a perspective that focuses more on passion, sensation, emotions and psychological reaction, instead of the actions and physical sensations involved in the sexual act per se. In a way, mature erotica connects with its audience at a more intimate and personal level.
As people grow older, the perception towards sex also changes. An individual who gains more experience in the field sees it differently from someone who is still an amateur in the area. Mature erotica describes the sexual act in a more complex context that involves feelings and personal connection; that sex is not simply sex. It is an act comprised of dynamic, physical action to satisfy ones urges. Mature erotica showcases sex as an activity that requires imagination, fantasy, openness, feelings and creativity. Such the factors fuel the contents of the literary pieces tagged under the category.